just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize