ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize