i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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