I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
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Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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