i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
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I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
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Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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