I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize