I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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