im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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