Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize