it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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