You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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