Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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