I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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