I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize