are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
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As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
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He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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