Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize