I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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