I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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