i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
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And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
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i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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