oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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