I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
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He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
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Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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