The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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