It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The best revenge is premature balding
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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