Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize