I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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