College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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