does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My liver just had a heart attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize