Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize