If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
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They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
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We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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