So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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