hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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