I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize