I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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