i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
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Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
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people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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