come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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