Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Actions speak louder than pants.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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