hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize