Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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