someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
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You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
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You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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