It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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