This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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