Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize