Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize