dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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