I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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