bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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