handjob tips. give me some.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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