I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize