I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Vodka?
Forever.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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