I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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